My name is Yolanda and I am a believer in recovery.
I struggle with the memories of my past and the words that I choose to
speak. Before starting my recovery
process I was filled with hatred, resentment and I had a thirst for vengeance. When it came to getting what I wanted I would
stop at nothing, thinking that I could do it in my own strength. I felt
superior to others. I was good and considerate to those who were poor but to
those who had money I was arrogant and rude. My thought of God was that he
would help only a certain kind of person. I allowed my husband to abuse me
physically and sexually and when I had to be taken to the hospital I justified
the beating; I never had the courage to say “no” to my husband, this was about
the lowest point in my life.
With this as my background I came to prison. One day while I was in my cell I saw a group
of women enter the prison and they started handing out hot dogs to a group of
inmates. I asked permission to go and was told that I would have to listen to
the teaching of the group. I went
thinking that all I really needed was a hot dog. I was wrong.
I learned quickly that I needed God in my life. I needed forgiveness and
His healing touch. Who would have thought that a simple little hot dog would be
the way that God captured my attention and get me on the path of recovery.
Accepting Christ into my heart was the best
decision I have ever made. I am a blessed woman because I am saved from eternal
death. I am blessed because I know Jesus as my Savior. CR has helped me overcome my insecurities and
my life is gradually changing for the good. I say gradually because there is so
much more to do in my life but God and I are working on my anger and
controlling my impulses. I am learning to recognize my mistakes and apologize
when necessary. I am learning how to make amends. God continues to make big changes in my life
and heart – I am far from perfect but I am fighting the good fight and in the
process God is teaching me to depend on Him for everything. The insecurity, hatred and resentment that ruled my life before now has
been changed by a constant security that comes from God alone. I am learning to be honest and transparent.
One of the many benefits of working through the CR
program is that I now have life mentors. I am learning to have faith, strength,
hope and love. I have learned to forgive and receive forgiveness. Today I encourage those just starting out on
their own path of recovery and I am able to share the Good News of God’s love
to my family. I feel called to share the
blessing of God’s love with everyone.
Thank you for letting me share and may God bless you.
*names have been changed to
protect identity*
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