My name is Darla and I am a grateful
believer of the Lord Jesus Christ! I
struggle with fear and rejection.
I was raised in a family that was very
negative and focused on working really hard. Hard work equaled approval. In
2009 the Lord began to work in me – when my biological family was in a very
dark place. I longed to belong and when
the opportunity came to join a family business I hoped it would allow me to be
a part of something – a family. Greed and control along with alcohol issues
made the entire situation ugly. My mom
passed away during this time and it hurt her to leave her family in this
situation. This time of my life was real bad – my husband was talked about,
used and criticized and I promised myself that I would find peace and quiet –
away from the chaos of the past years. We were not abused physically but my
father used oppression, a cruelty that caused fear and instilled in me a lack
of trust for the male authority figure.
I feared disappointing everyone around me. When my mom passed away my father decided to
never speak to my siblings and I again.
We received a phone call twelve years later letting us know that he had
died and was already buried.
While looking
for the peace and quiet away from the chaos I was introduced to Jesus; this was
not the peace and quiet I had been thinking about but it was exactly what I
needed. I am grateful that I have found myself surrounded within the Celebrate
Recovery program. I have found a place where I can be real; where I can be
myself. My time in Celebrate Recovery
has allowed for me to continue facing my journey head on! The Step Series on Sanity continues to help
me in many ways!
·
~ That I need to make decisions based
only on God’s truth and not on my emotions or feelings;
· ~
That I need His continued strength to
help me to face the fears of the past that previously would have caused me to
flee or freeze;
· ~
To know that I can have a realistic
expectation of myself and of others.
· ~
That I have a new life with the Lord
Jesus Christ guiding my life - which means I do not need to live my life the
way that it used to be;
·
~ That I can trust my relationship with
our Lord God but most importantly my relationships with others.
Although it continues to be a journey
that I must walk through daily with the Lord; I now know that I do not need to
look for people’s approval since the only approval I need comes from God - and
God only. I have compassion and empathy for others. God has had me go through
each trial and valley for a purpose. Each trial and valley has been a time that
God has ‘called’ me to be right at His feet. He works through each crack in
this broken vessel to allow His Light to radiate out to the world. During my journey with God I intend to love
every person who God has cross my path.
God HAS a plan for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 says this! “'For I
know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'”
Sometimes when we look in the mirror
it is hard to believe that Jesus could love us. Some days we feel messy, we
feel that we do not bring any joy to anyone. Sometimes it is so hard to even
like ourselves. The Bible tells us that the One who took our place on the cross
doesn’t just tolerate us; He loved us FIRST. To remember His truth and realize
that Jesus actually loves each one of us – and likes us too – will make it
easier for each of us to love others.
And I vow that I will come before the
Lord every day – and bring each burden that I may be carrying to Him – and
leave those burdens at the altar. Carrying
these burdens along with me – like a security blanket will not allow me to able
to love others – the way that Jesus Christ loved others.
Isaiah 43:1 – 3 says:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you
are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the
rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not
be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the
Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
These words from God
embrace me. They show His love for
me. They show that He really cares for
me. These words continue to build me up
to be able to fulfill His purpose. To
love each of the least of these…..just like Jesus did.
Thank you for letting me share.
