A testimony from one of "Our Girls" on the Inside: Grace

My name is Grace and I am a believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with anger, resentment and bitterness.  During my childhood I saw people I loved being beaten and killed. My aunt sold me to a man for $100. I became pregnant but had a miscarriage at 8 months.  My heart began to fill with revenge and hatred. I spoke to no one and chose not to have friends.

I was 18 when I met my husband a few days after our daughter was born my husband was diagnosed with bone cancer. We were devastated.  My husband was deported to Mexico and I joined him 7 months later. We had a second daughter. I thought things were settling down but I was wrong. We agreed to have a gentleman come live with us as he said he was having a hard time making ends meet. We agreed that he would pay rent to help us out. He stayed with us for four months; when he left he still owed us some money.  My husband became seriously ill and I had to contact the man and request payment as I needed it to pay for medicine. He agreed to pay and so I went to meet him. Upon arriving back home with my children the police arrested me on kidnapping charges. My husband was also charged with kidnapping.  Our girls were taken by DIF (social services) but fortunately my family was able to bring them home and care for them.  I found myself in prison full of hatred, resentment and bitterness. I constantly had revenge on my mind.

One day someone shared with me about the Celebrate Recovery program offered in the prison so I decided to join. I learned about forgiveness and I knew that I needed to forgive as God had forgiven me but it was not easy to hear this. I don’t focus on “why did this happen to me” anymore. I know without a doubt that God was with me through it all. He allowed it because He has a plan and purpose for my life.  He gives me the strength I need to face each day.

Principle 8 really touched my heart because says: "Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words. Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires." Through this Principle I understand that if I give my whole life to God I can be used by Him to bring hope to all those who have gone through situations similar to mine.  I'm working on surrendering my life and my will to my Heavenly Father every day. Through Celebrate Recovery I am gaining a deeper relationship with God and gradually my heart is being emptied of the anger, bitterness and revenge and it’s being filled with faith, hope and love. Now I know that God cares for me, my husband, my children and even my legal situation, I have peace that can only come from God.

Thank you for your support and prayers and thanks for letting me share my story with you.

God bless you.

*names have been changed to protect their identity*

A testimony from one of "Our Girls" on the Inside: Rosalynn

My name is Rosalynn and I am a believer in Jesus Christ struggling with co-dependency issues and low self-esteem. Before starting Celebrate Recovery I had very little knowledge of God. I easily exploded in anger when something bothered me. The only time I spoke to God was when I was in trouble. I had a good attitude towards others unless they tried to tell me what to do. Now I recognize that my rebellious attitude and my problems with addictions brought me to prison.

The lowest point of my life came when I entered the dark world of drugs. I remember spending entire nights wandering from place to place with my friends waiting for our next fix. I knew that sooner or later I would have to pay for my mistakes and face the consequences of my actions. Now I understand that it is by the grace of God that I am here in prison. I am thankful that He allowed me to come to this place so that I could begin my recovery.

Someone invited me to the YUGO-Celebrate Recovery program.  I admit, at first I didn’t appreciate having to sit still for two hours, but then, something magical began to happen; I started to pay attention to the CR lessons and it was as if every one of the lessons were written just for me. I became interested in learning more about God and started talking to Him. I learned how to pray and I learned that God loves me and is interested in me. I gave my heart to Jesus and began my personal relationship with Him. I get excited and can hardly wait for Mondays when the YUGO team hosts the CR program. I know God will speak to my life through the lesson of that day. I have learned through the program that God cares for me and His love is never ending.  This so beautiful to me.

Lesson 6 ACTION is the lesson that touched my life the most. It is in this lesson that I learned to surrender my will to Jesus Christ and allow Him to have control of my life. I feel God has helped me to have sanity in my thoughts and my life. I have learned to be more sociable and to relate differently with others. I've exchanged the feelings of hate, anger and resentment with  feelings of peace as I stay in communion with God and continue to read His Word. I am able to go to church every Sunday and get to share this very beautiful journey of recovery with many other women here in prison.

I am a different person today as I walk with confidence and am learning to have self- control with my reactions. My goal is to continue walking with God and allow Him to be the power that guides my life. One of the greatest benefits I have gained through the CR program is that I now have a personal relationship with Jesus and that I can trust my life in His care.  I believe with all my heart that God has a purpose for my life. My part is allowing myself to be led by His Spirit and obey Him. I bravely share this message with other inmates who are dealing with the same issues I had in the past. Thank you for allowing me to share. God Bless you all.

*names have been changed to protect identity*