The first step

A testimony from one of "Our Girls" on the Inside: Alexandria

My name is Alexandria and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ in recovery of drugs, resentment, revenge and rejection.

I suffered rejection by my father and other family members so I chose to isolate from people. I was very quiet, was scared, had a very low self-esteem and I felt ugly.  My grandmother from my mother’s side raised me because my parents didn’t take care of me.  That was my childhood up to my adolescence. At the age of 15 I met the guy who I married and had 2 children.  Our marriage was good until one day my husband started to consume drugs with another woman and started cheating on me.  When I found out I didn’t know how to react besides we didn’t have God in our lives so I decided to get drugged with him just like his lover so he would not leave me. And instead of me helping him out of his addiction I sank with him.  Drugs trapped me and what started as revenge ended up by destroying my life and I dragged my kids with me. When I realized it I was worse than my husband and then it was me who abandoned him.  My husband tried to help but he didn’t know how, by then drugs controlled my life and that’s how I started ruining my life.  All I wanted was to get high and didn’t care how I achieve it, if it was by stealing or by prostituting me. I began selling drugs and got involved with people I never imagine in my life.  I saw horrible things in which I participated sometimes, my feelings disappeared and I cared for nobody. My lowest point was when I got my kids involved in selling drugs because for me it was very normal.  I am in prison because I committed a homicide and when I got here I thought my life came to end but I was wrong because it was barely starting.  I was invited to a group called Celebrate Recovery where through a program God is restoring my life.  God is dealing with my life in an impressive way, I have discovered God’s love and I have been able to feel freedom even behind these bars because they do not keep me from feeling the joy God gives me day by day.  I have learned in Celebrate Recovery to turn to God the hate, resentment and the pain to my only higher power Jesus Christ. I do not feel I am a slave to sin and in my heart there is peace and joy.

 God restored my relationship with my mom.  I am getting to know God and I want more, I know he has a plan for my life and I know that the way he fixed and rescued my life he will do the same for my children because they are not doing good.  Today I know that for God nothing is impossible and I have put my freedom from this prison in his hands I know he has the perfect timing.  God bless you and thank you for letting me share.